it’s always kind of funny to me when people insist that honesty is a virtue and you should always tell the truth because being good at lying is something that’s been almost universally celebrated for thousands of years by pretty much all of humanity. like there are literally multiple folk tales and legends throughout history and across cultures that involve the hero tricking their adversary in order to win, and it’s usually considered a disadvantage to mythical creatures such as faeries that they can’t say things that aren’t true.
i love how whenever something gets popular the underground tormented avant garde bloggers start becoming self conscious of liking it/finding it funny, and it eventually evolves into aggression towards it. doesnt matter what it is. unrelated but i saw someone call isopods cringe today
They’re older than Florida. The Floridian peninsula is the solidified runoff of the Appalachians that got caught on some coral. It’s why we’re like this, I think. You don’t stand a chance of being normal when you were created by the shed skin of an elder god draping itself over a hollow skeleton. You’re always going to be a little Off.
Is it cringe to be into trans men but not cis men? I’m a transfem and I don’t know if this is fetishistic but I’m just always feeling unsafe around cis men in a way trans men never made me feel. I feel guilty about it and don’t know how to explain it outside of that.
nah i think it’s valid. there are gonna be some ppl who will be weird abt it bc they’re obsessed with insisting that trans men are indistinguishable from cis men but that’s just simply not true. we’re different from cis men, so dating us will be a different experience, and that’s okay. it’s okay to want that different experience, especially as a fellow trans person. as long as you just treat them like a human being and don’t make weird comments about their genitals, which i’m sure won’t be a problem, then you’re all good. live ur t4t dreams.
and like. i kinda have weird feelings abt fetishization bc like ok.
i hooked up with a queer person who used all the right language and did all the right things, but then they told me they only date ppl who were afab, regardless of gender. they’ll fuck ppl who were amab but they won’t date them, only afab ppl. the further we got into the convo, it became clear that the reason they only wanted to date ppl who were afab is bc we are more likely to have been socialized to take on the brunt of the domestic and emotional labor in relationships. that hookup ended up lasting over an hour bc they kept interrupting sex to complain about their ex wife. by the end i was practically shoving them out the door because i was so uncomfortable.
the guy i’m hooking up with right now is very cis and found me through the ftm tag on grindr, so he was specifically looking for trans guys. he told me he’s into trans guys because he likes sleeping with masculine people, mostly men, but he also likes the way vaginas feel. could that be seen as fetishistic? sure. does it feel that way to me when we have sex? nope. he uses gender affirming language without even being asked, he tells me he’s super into my body and gets excited when he notices that i’ve grown more hair or had a t dick growth spurt. he likes my body because it’s trans, and i’m perfectly okay with that.
i felt so much more fetishized by the queer person who was actively seeking out afab ppl to take advantage of essentially patriarchal trauma than i ever have by the guy who just likes trans pussy. so i feel like we just really need to have a conversation about what it actually means to fetishize someone because it very much feels like it’s just become “thinks trans ppl are hot” and i hate that literally other trans ppl are scared of finding other trans ppl hot for fear of fetishizing. trans ppl are fucking hot! our trans bodies are hot! it’s okay to be sexually attracted to trans bodies!
THIS. This this this, a thousand times this.
I personally think that a lot of people have decided that “being attractive to something non-normative” = “fetishizing” which… Is just blatantly not true. But it’s how you end up with people who think that someone who is explicitly (and perhaps only) attracted to trans/genderqueer bodies is an evil fetishizer instead of, you know. Someone who likes that kind of body. Same vein of thinking as people who think that those who are attracted to fat people are all chubby chasers with a fat/feeding fetish instead of just people who find fat bodies attractive.
Like imo? There is no fucking difference between saying “Oh yeah, I really like guy pussy” and “I really like big dick and muscles.” It’s just what you like, and I hate that when someone expresses that they like something that is seen as “not normal”- not a straight, cis, white, abled, thin body, people act like it’s a fetish or it’s objectifying. Because what that says, at least to me as a fat genderqueer transmasc, is that being attracted to me as I am is inherently not normal and not good. And that is a fucking SHITTY message to send.
The problem with trans chasers and chubby chasers and “fetishizers” (and honestly, people really need to like, read up on what a fetish is because I’m sick of seeing it used as some bad thing all the time, it’s not) is that they treat people as not whole people. Whether, as in the example above, they take advantage of actual or perceived trauma and behavior associated with one’s assigned gender, or as a personal example, they’re only interested in sleeping with you because they’ve “never fucked a fat chick and hear that you girls give awesome head”. People who do that shit see the people they go after as experiences or novelties, or as something exotic. A sex object that they can use.
Whereas someone who is just into trans bodies, fat bodies… They just like those bodies. And they will treat you as a whole person. You’re not a sexual toy to them- you’re a person that they think is hot, that they want to sleep with. They care about you and your body and what you need. Again, it’s no different than someone who dates people with brown eyes or cool dyed hair because they find those things attractive. It’s just “this is what I look for physically in a partner”.
do y’all remember before direct messages tumblr had a dumbass ask limit of 10 per hour and communication was impossible until they introduced dumbass fan mail and we were basically sending telegraphs back in forth trying to communicate those were…dark times
Do y'all remember when they finally gave us direct messages and instead of doing it normally, they gave it to a few people at a time and we had to infect each other with it like a virus
remember when any post with more than like 6 people talking was unreadably smushed except for the last few additions remember when any post of over 500 characters became a link back to op’s blog readmore style remember when video and audio posts had about a 10% chance of working when you click play
As a recent user I love finding out shit like this from older users. What the fuck guys???? Why were you USING IT AT ALL?!??
believe it or not, we liked that more
its worth noting that immediately after these updates that made everything better, we were all angry about it
Every time self taping comes up in SAG- AFTRA discussions I just remember that Lukas Gage clip where an unmuted director complained about having to look at “poor people in their tiny apartments”
/end ID]
[Video Description:
a recording of a self-taped zoom audition. Lukas Gage’s screen is pinned, showing him in front of a small section of his apartment as he prepares to deliver his material.
Tristram Shapeero: [not pictured] “These poor people live in these tiny apartments, like, I’m looking at his- y'know, background and he’s got his TV, and y'know-”
Gage: [pained expression] “Oof, yeah, unmuted-” “I know it’s a shitty apartment, that’s why- give me this job so I can get a better one.” “Alright. Ready?”
Shapeero: “Oh my god I am so, so sorry, Lukas- [unintelligible] I’m so sorry.”
Gage: [overlapping, jokingly] “No, it’s totally-” “Listen, I’m living in a 4x4 box, it’s fine, just give me the job and we’ll be fine.”
Shapeero: “No I’m- I’m mortified.” [overlapping a burst of awkward laughter from another participant]
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